Lack of Time

My original idea to have this as a weekly post has been interrupted by other obligations and endeavors I've decided to take on.  Hopefully, I will be able to pick up with it regularly again in the future.  

Dear Job Seeker:

I know how tough it is out there to find a job right now, and you are probably applying any and everywhere you can think to do so.  I have a few recommendations for your success of being offered a job.  I realize that some of these things may not be something you find logical, and some of these things may be foreign to you entirely, but please, take my advice.  Some of you job seekers will definitely know what I mean and can avoid this list completely.  Just to be safe though, give it a read.

1. Showing up to pick up an application in a sleeveless t-shirt and dirty worn out jeans is not appropriate at any job, even if that's what you would wear to said job on a daily basis.  
2. Do not bring a snack or drink to a job interview.  
3. Do not tell possibly employers that you got fired from your last job because they didn't like it when you cussed in front of your customers in a confused tone of voice.  
4. "Shoes" is not an acceptable answer to the question of what your job skills are, mainly because the perspective employer won't know what you mean.  
5. Please, be sure to bathe before coming to talk to someone about a job.  
6. If you want to work thirty hours or more each week at a retail job, don't limit your availability to three days between the hours of 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM.  
7. BE SURE TO READ THE APPLICATION BEFORE YOU START FEELING IT OUT, and if you mess something up, don't scribble; ask for another application.  
8. "I need the money" or "It seems like an easy job" are NEVER the right answer to "Why do you want to work for our company", FYI.
9. Just because you can get on facebook does not mean you have "good internet skills".  
10. Turn off your cell phones BEFORE you start an interview.  

I know that some of this seems like common sense, but I have interviewed a lot of people in my time as a manager with different companies.  Each of these are things I have personally experienced.  Don't make the same mistakes.  

Sincerely, 

Mgt. 

Dear Customer Service Personell:

I write to you knowing exactly the position in which you find yourself.  I have personally worked in customer service for the past seven years.  I know how ignorant a customer’s question can seem or how simple a solution may seem to you, and I understand your frustration in dealing with those situations.  With that in mind, I always approach you with only intelligent, well-thought-out, planned questions or inquiries.  So, no matter how frustrated the idiot in front of me may have mad you, please don’t take it out on me. 

Recently, I called you to order a pizza.  This is how our conversation went:

           

            “Generic Pizza Place,” you said. 

            “Yes, I need to place an order for pick up,” I replied.

            “Last name?” you asked. 

            “Last name’s Blankenship,” I said. 

            “What do you need?”

            “I’d like two of your large takeout specials…”

            “Cheese or Pepperoni?” you cut me off. 

            “One cheese and one pepperoni,” I said. 

            “Anything else?” you asked exasperated. 

            “Can I get a side of banana peppers?” I asked hesitantly.

            “Anything else?” you repeated in the same tone.

            “I’d like an order of breadsticks with cheese, also,” I said. 

            “Anything else,” you repeated exactly the same way. 

            “No that’ll do it,” I said. 

            “It’ll be about twenty minutes,” you replied AS you hung up the phone. 

Again, let me reiterate that I know what you’ve been through.  I know the people you’ve dealt with all day, but I am not one of those people.  Having done a job similar to yours I make sure not to be the jerk on the other side.  Seriously though, you could have at least offered a “thanks” or something similar.  If nothing else, you could have not been so flat during our conversation.  I’ll probably call you again the next time I need to order pizza, but that decision will be based solely upon the proximity in which your location is to my house…nothing more. 

I see you all the time rolling your eyes at the customer in front of me.  That’s probably not the best idea, but you keep on rollin’.  You often times even sigh heavily under your breath when asked certain questions.  Oh, I know!  I’ve worked in places that purchased products back from customers for cash or in-store credit.  I know! 

Still, I always found it within myself to hold back the use of outwardly direct signs of frustration and anger.  I was sometimes not as talkative or overly helpful, but I never directly showed the customer how much the previous person had gotten under my skin. 

Here’s an idea: if you don’t like your job, find another one.  Don’t put this off until tomorrow. Don’t sit around waiting on someone to contact you and make you the offer of your dreams.  You will never get that call or e-mail.  You have to go out and make things happen for yourself.  So, please, walk away from that part of your life as quickly as possible. 

Dear Check Writers of America:

I understand that you have done things a certain way for a very long time.  You are used to writing out checks as a form of payment.  Stores have even made it so easy to use them now that you don't even have to write them out.  The cash register will print the needed information on the check for you.  All you have to do is sign. 

A few years ago, I completely understood the point of writing checks.  Sometimes you could write a check and have a day or two before it cleared your bank account; so, if you were a little short on money in your account, you might be OK.  In these modern times though, your check goes through just about as fast as a debit card taking away the only real reason for writing checks.

Some of you will say you don't spend money as quickly when you write checks.  Well, that tells me you need more discipline in your life.  If you can't control your spending in any other way, you should seek out help.  I don't buy this (no pun intended) as a relevant excuse for writing checks.  The people that wait behind you in line probably need to slow down their lives a little, but regardless, it's really frustrating to stand behind you and watch you wait until everything is scanned before even starting to write out your check. 

As far as I understand it, the money that covers your check would be the same money that would be deducted if you used your debit card.  Why not just save yourself and everyone else a few minutes and swipe the card.  Just as much of your information is transmitted electronically when they verify your check as when you use your debit card; so, that whole information security thing doesn't work as an excuse either. 

I guess to sum things up: STOP IT. 

Sincerely,

American Debit Card Users

Dear Inattentive Driver

I know that you are a very busy person.  I’m sure that you have many important things to do.  There are phone calls to make, makeup to apply, iPods to reorganize, meals to eat, radios that need their EQ tweaked, and I think you should make time for all of those things.  I just wish you wouldn’t do it while you’re behind the wheel of your car. 

I was driving down a busy four-lane highway today, and you drifted into my lane rather quickly.  It appeared you were trying to swallow a burrito in one bite and had spilled some of the sauce on your suit.  While cleaning it off, you looked away from the road and didn’t return your attention to it until I honked my horn at you.  Then, you seemed to be offended that I alerted you to your mistake.  I saved us from having a wreck!  I think you should have been grateful. 

That’s not the only time I’ve experienced your rudeness.  Just last week I was waiting at a traffic light and saw you drive through the intersection.  You were talking on your phone with it clasped between your head and shoulder.  Your hands were busy because you were trying to write something down…I assume it was something of the utmost importance.  I watched you drive to the next intersection.  You had to slam on your breaks to avoid barreling into the car in front of you that had already stopped at the light. 

I see you quite often when you’re trying to multitask.  I think that you should know that you are attempting something that very few, if any, people can do.  People switch from task to task very quickly, but we’re not actually focusing on more than one thing at a time.  No, really.  Ask any MIT professor.  So when you think you’re still paying attention to the road and switching tunes on your MP3 player: you’re not.  You are actually diverting your attention from the road.  Even if only for a split second, your diverted attention can cause monstrous problems for you and the people around you. 

There are all kinds of times that you could be doing those things you’re doing in the car that wouldn’t put you and the people around you at risk.  So, please take a minute to do these things later.  I know we all get in a hurry, but it’s getting ridiculous. 

Sincerely,

America

Dear Ungrateful Stranger:

I write to you concerning your behavior from our many pervious encounters. I do not write to you out of anger, even though I do get frustrated when you act so rudely.  I write to you out of concern more than anything else.  It is not that I fear for our safety, but rather that I hate to see people look so down on you.  I think the best thing for me to do is to just provide with some examples of what I mean. 

First, just today I saw you in the local grocery store.  You were leaving with your hands full as I was entering.  I grabbed the door hand, pulled it open for you and held it as you passed through.  On your way past me, you said nothing.  You didn’t even smile at me or nod your head.  I know that you are very busy, and I am sure you had something very pressing to do – some TV show you were in a hurry to catch, facebook update to make, video games to play – on which you had your mind focused. 

Another time recently, we met at an intersection.  We each had stop signs.  I politely motioned you to go ahead first.  You hesitated and did not respond; so, I decided that you intended for me to go ahead of you.  I started to move forward just as you did, but I stopped right away…as did you.  Again, I motioned you to go ahead while I waited.  You sped off in what seemed like a very agitated state and gave me a very sour face as you drove away. 

The thing that bothers me the most is much simpler.  I often see you out and about when we seem to be reaching for the same item, trying to navigate the same aisle or when I just have to step past you to get where I’m gong.  I almost always make sure to excuse myself.  Often, you do not respond at all, and when you do, it is usually some unintelligible grunt or guttural noise. 

I have to say that I don’t appreciate your attitude about our encounters one bit.  I find that you could just as easily say nod your head as I hold the door for you.  You could try and understand that I was trying to give you permission to take your turn ahead of mine at the intersection.  You could also have offered something in response to the countless times I have pardoned myself in the last of the scenarios above.  You have no desire to do any of those things it seems. 

Instead of acting like a common polite person, you act like you “own the place” as they say.  Well, I suppose that is alright.  I will continue to act as I do, and I will continue to tolerate your rude behavior.  Although, I am considering having business cards made up that have short scenarios on the front and the appropriate response on the back to hand to you as needed.  I assume that no one ever taught you to act any better, and if that is the case, you are not to blame. 

I hope you take this letter in the spirit is in intended.  I do not mean to belittle you or make you feel badly.  I just wanted to make you aware that to myself and the rest of the polite world around you (what little bit of it is left), you give the impression of an impolite, ungrateful, rude little turd. 

Sincerely,

Raised Better Than You